Boston, the city that has my heart. PART ONE

Wow, I can't believe its been 15 days! I was kind of mourning the loss of the end of the marathon & our trip home and the end of the hardest training of my life. It was GREAT to come home to our boys hugs & kisses & the weather in Wisconsin has been beautiful this week. There is no way I can write this in one sitting in my crazy, constantly moving life, so I'll give glimpses over a few days/weeks so that I can thoroughly capture the memory and tell the tale.

Boston was so much fun, we made so many memories in such a short time. What I can say about Boston could take days and days...but I'll try to break it down. FACT: We love it there. We want to bring our boys back in a couple years. We completely submerged ourselves in the history and enveloped ourselves in the urban Bostonian way of life, though the panhandlers always seemed to know Ryan was a tourist, even after swapping his Brewers hat for a Red Sox one. We now know thoroughly how to travel via the T and who makes the best linguini with clams.

We arrived late to our hotel, around 11:30 pm Saturday evening, so Sunday morning we decided we'd get up early & make the most of our trip exploring the city. By 9 am we were at the Expo Center, the sun was shining on our walk there where we met another runner getting off the subway from South Carolina with his southern drawl, talking about how he loves running hills & plans to get a run in that day. Hearing him talk put my tummy in knots about Monday.

The Expo center is a huge pile of everything any runner has ever thought they needed, many things you've never known exist, just tons and tons of merchandise from various vendors. It is a distraction that I didn't want to spend all day at with the gorgeous weather outside, so I quickly jaunted upstairs to the packet pick up portion and found my number and had a gentleman snap a photo for me and I returned the favor.

The hubby & I met up again downstairs, where I expressed that I was worried about the rain that was on its way for Marathon Monday and I didn't have a ballcap, so I got a hat with the Hereford & Boylston Street signs on it for my run and we got a couple Boston t-shirts. I tend to be pretty frugal, I've needed to buy jeans for about 3 months now, but I just can't get myself to #1, take time to go shopping, and #2, spend the money. But I was convinced by my spouse to splurge a little and take some memories home.

Ryan was patient, not wanting to force me to leave too soon, amazed I think by all of the "stuff" some runners think they need. So we looked around for a short while, but it wasn't long and I said, "Let's go explorin'." First fueling up at the Trader Joe's across the street, which, is located at the bottom of an escalator in a BASEMENT! It was the coolest Trader Joes ever! We got some bananas and almonds and coffee at Starbucks then went out just taking in the architecture first. The coolest part is seeing such old architecture in the midst of new. The churches are so gorgeous, the fire escapes are even adorned with detail. We looked at so many churches, asking each other, "is this the one from Boondock Saints?" We also checked out the sculptures at Boston Commons & the State house & began the Freedom Trail journey there. I think this is where I'll begin Part II...

Warm Fuzzies with 5 days remaining.

I had the pleasure of meeting another local gal (Hager City) on Monday night & actually running with her before we both go to Boston next Monday. Her name is Amy Engnes & she's a super talented, speedy, little woman who can kick my butt in a foot race! We're going to meet up at the Expo on Sunday where I'll meet another runner from Hudson who's in my wave & then we'll hopefully see each other around the finish line as well. On our run we didn't stop talking once, not even on the steep Ellsworth hill running by the English Lutheran Church. Ha! What a blessing it has been to have met her & get some insight into what to do/not to do with regard to Boston, since this is her second trip there. I'm excited to have met her & for running together in the future as well.

Additionally, I want to thank everyone for your outpouring of love shown to me in these final few days before Boston. Thank you for the encouraging phone calls, emails, for the "good luck," the marathon questions, the gifts, and the "we're proud of you" comments. I've been feeling overwhelmed with the kindness and encouragement and I hope to do you all proud.

Yesterday morning, my boss, Mr. Stoesz, pulled all of our staff together to send me off and it touched my heart so much. I'm so thankful to work with such wonderful teachers & staff here at Ellsworth High School. They put together a care package of water, Nuun tablets, GU, a running magazine, and a pile of chocolates. It was so thoughtful and I was speechless at the sweet gesture and that they all took time out to get together & support me.

Another friend stopped in and gave me a card, telling me there was money inside for me to get myself a "treat" upon completion; which she suggested a commemorative charm, or something that I'll be able to keep & hold on to.

To all those who've reached out with encouragement, I just want you to know that it all means a great deal to me and on April 20th, I'll be thinking of all of you and feeling grateful for this life. Love you guys and thanks so much for caring.

Now if ya'll could just do me one last favor & pray that the forecast gets just a bit better...

April Fools Day...April 20th is almost here!

So do you include the day you are currently living with a count down to a day when an activity occurs? Either way, Boston is coming quickly & I'm feeling ready.

21.2 DONE.

Since I last wrote, my butterflies were conquered and I've actually gotten TWO 21.2 milers under my belt. Last weekend was harder than the one prior, but I forgot my GU at home so that was part of the reason why, that and headwinds fighting me as I returned home. I added a much more hilly route these past two weeks, running out to 850th at the top of the Pechacek hill.

The week prior was also probably much easier because after I'd gone about 12 miles, I thought this woman was just pulling over to let her sons relieve themselves in the ditch or something, but then they all go to the back of their pick up & start jumping, clapping and cheering me on. Thanks Rhonda, Ray and Jack, your cheers & encouragement propelled me when I was doubting. It made my day, I couldn't stop smiling with regard to your sweetness all the way home. When I needed that extra push & strength of the Eagles, God took care of me and I honestly felt better running 21.2 that Saturday, than I had the week prior in a very difficult 17. He's got me covered in this, I feel strong & able.

I've increased to 41-43 miles per week and now I will begin to slowly decrease. This coming weekend only 16 miles, the following 12, and then 4 the Saturday before Marathon Monday. I cannot believe how fast the days are passing by. I received my Boston Passport in the mail on Saturday after returning home from my long run.

If you are out and about this coming Saturday, I'm planning on knocking the run out early, around 7-9. I'm planning on running my route from C, to V, to 63, to 10. If you see me, a honk or wave would be greatly appreciated!

Everything is coming together & becoming less a dream and much more reality. I'm excited to travel & to enjoy & live this memory as it plays out. I've got reservations for dinner set the night prior, I think we understand the subways & know how to get around & I'll be able to find Ryan once everything is complete.

As I drive around for work, going between jobs and running errands, I think a lot about everything that has gotten me to this point. The hundreds of hours on the road, purple lips and cold, cold limbs, sweat pouring on hot humid summer days, flash flood rains that have snuck up outta nowhere when I'm miles away from home & I've just continued to run, with blurred vision through mascara stained cheeks. I was watching a video (Why I run - Laura Fleshman) by Laura Fleshman who says,
"Running is tattooed on her heart" and that is a great way to put it. I've never gotten a real tattoo because I've never had anything that meant enough for me to mark my body, but in this way I do have one.
I feel that way as I recall these running memories, paths taken that weren't traveled, silly situations, letting off steam, training my dog, pushing the jogger stroller up so many, countless hills, realizing that maybe this 40 lb boy might be too heavy for this contraption once and for all...Ha; rain, sleet, snow, ice, wind,etc; all of it building and adding to my story. Many people think I'm crazy & I can't always explain my passion where I'm able to get another person to comprehend it, but once you fall in love with running, its going to be apart of you, forever.

Time is going too fast.

So that being said, I'm also a mom & as a mother, of two goofy, crazy sons, that are growing WAY too fast. I gotta' think of some good April Fools day pranks to play on them today. Hmmm...the ideas are brewing...Ryan is a far better prankster than I am...so I think I'll discuss this with him.

At the dentist last week.

Helping me at my office.

Harry Caray

Losing this game, but learning cribbage very quickly.

Ol' Dead eye shootin' BB Gun.

ISAIAH 40:31

I need this for tomorrow, my longest run to date, I'd like to cross the 20 mile obstacle, but my mind keeps getting in the way, filling itself with doubt. I will run & not grow weary. I WILL run & NOT grow weary.

Reading up a bit further, verse 26, and while you are at it, you might as well read all of Isaiah 40, it's a powerful part of the Bible...

26 Lift up your eyes on high, and behold who hath created these things, that bringeth out their host by number: he calleth them all by names by the greatness of his might, for that he is strong in power; not one faileth.

Today marks the 1 month point of training remaining. ONE MONTH LEFT is all I have left to work towards this goal. I don't know why I'm so repetitive today, its just been such a shock. I was notified of my bib # this week, #17459. Wave 3, Corral 2, my run starts at 10:50 a.m.

Another cool thing that happened this week, I had written a short tweet to Heather Lieberg (US Elite Marathoner) about her inspiring me and she actually responded to me, which was super special. 

I'm focusing on the good things today, I will prepare, I might drop a few water bottles around town, instead of doing this one without as well as making & bringing my energy bars with me, instead of GU, (gosh that stuff makes me nauseous) and just keep running. 

I've had a rough work week, I have a couple people in my work relationships that for some reason I just rub them the wrong way...every time. I stood my ground when I knew I was right and was just stonewalled. In this situation, as in my long, sometimes very difficult runs, I have to turn it over to God. If I don't, I just get bitter, and yes, I let so much of this anger out on my husband last night, who knew I just needed to get it off of my chest & just took it and even gave me some wisdom for my situation. Thank you Ryan.

So...how does this all come back around, I guess I don't really know what to do right now, in this situation and over the mental nerves about running tomorrow morning, so I will offer this prayer to my heavenly father...

Heavenly father, I am burnt out, I'm tired, run down, listless, I'm unpoopular, and I pop out at parties...(God is a sucker for Lucille Ball references)

I wait on you, please renew my soul. I need your comfort & all of the qualities that you've given to the Eagles. I need their faith in you to take care of them, the wisdom they have to succeed despite the odds they face, their strength to cover many miles following only where you lead them, & their nurturing heart for their families, to care for and raise them up in your likeness.

Fitting Tunes & Refreshing Motivation

Saturday basketball is over so I was able to sleep in for the first Saturday since December. Not to mention the temps being around -24 over night, -4 still at 7:30 when I dragged my lazy behind outta' bed.

Everyone was home, eating breakfast cereal, sitting at our kitchen table which in itself was a small milestone. The table had been out in the elements on our back porch during the majority of our kitchen remodel. Maxim, Walter, Ryan and I all worked together on it to sand it down the weekend before last. I joked that after doing this project as a family, we've now created an heirloom that the boys will fight about some day, with regard to who gets to keep it. Ryan since then had put down 1 tung oil application & rubbed that with steel wool. Then, this past Friday night he finished it with the final tung oil rub before we went to bed. So Saturday morning she was ready for use. Maxim celebrating with his "Finding Nemo" spoon that came in the Froot Loops Box and dribbling milk down his front while he ate, onto the table and his pajamas of course. :)

My looming long-run cloud hung over me, my stomach in knots, as it always is before I just go get it done. We talked about the appropriate time for me to go, Ryan checked the temperature, which said by 2 pm it was supposed to be 24 degrees. Hmm, for some reason, in my crazy mind, that didn't seem cold at all; what temperature does water freeze at? I layered up after prepping lunch and supper, and headed out around noon. The sun was shining, which made it seem not to bad, initially, but the wind was strong, and from the west, and I turned straight into it after 2.5 miles. Not far into this portion, my vision kept blurring and I realized that my tears were actually freezing while they were still on my eyes. What a weird sensation that was. I tightened down my hood, pulled up my cowl neck scarf so at least I'd breath warm air, and pressed on. It was pretty tough, even for this stubborn girl.

About 1.5 miles before I got to turn & head North, Whipping Post by the Allman (Almond) Bros. came on and I thought to myself, how fitting is this song right now. The first words of the song are, "I've been run down..." to which I respond OUTLOUD, "Preach it, Brother!" and laughed a bit...

The mental battle of a long run is so strong some days, you gotta' be tough to continue,  but I did keep on, keepin' on and was treated to the warmth of the sun on my back, instantly making me realize how greatly I wish my sweatshirt was black, but the  winds now were at my left side & the next batch of miles were very decent, compared to what I'd been through. I never took out a GU gel once over these 17 miles, I didn't want to get my fingertips chilled. I felt extremely fatigued with about 3 miles remaining, but recovered and even had a hitch in my giddyup over the last 1.5. However I did get home & tell my husband, "That was THE hardest 17 miles of my whole life." I lost 9 lbs of water weight in that time, just to give you insight into the drain that amount of miles has on the body.

Violet - Willy Wonka

MILLION DOLLAR IDEA this girl had 1/2 way through this trek: GU should create a gel that warms in your tummy after you ingest it, for us in northern climates. But then I thought of all the ways this might go wrong...





Training for Boston & running in these conditions has been the hardest thing I've ever done physically and mentally. I look forward to race day so much, we're staring down 6 weeks now. I know its going to be emotional to look back at all of the literal blood, sweat & icy tears I've put into this thing. I can't wait to talk about it with my sons & encourage them in similar endeavors later in their lives.

So...that being said, RE-MOTIVATION. I needed a kick in the pants. I just watched this video and it makes me want to run out the door right now & hit the snowy pavement. SO many people just like me, same love and passion, training in a variety of conditions, with the same goal, pretty cool to see. Enjoy & be motivated today, whatever passion you have, morph this to fit your medium.

Speaking of this, (as if I talk about anything else...) I'm looking for suggestions relative to my playlist for running on April 20th, please email/facebook, comment here with your suggestions for tunes that get you moving & push you.

Boston for the American Diabetes Association

Good morning,

Many friends have asked when I'll be asking for money to help pay for the expensive costs of going to Boston. I personally have my own thoughts & think it ludicrous to ask my friends to pay for this trip that I've put all of my blood, sweat, and tears into. Thank you for your concern & care, and it is flattering that you'd like to help me out, but I got this. :)

If you read this & think, Heather, that's not good enough, I want to support you some how, well then I've discussed with Janeece Oatman of the American Diabetes Association and my intentions are to run the Boston Marathon, representing the American Diabetes Association, to bring awareness and to ultimately find a cure and STOP DIABETES.

How can you contribute to this cause?
My Tour center for the ADA link is below, which I'll also be riding for this spring, my 6th tour, 62 miles.

http://main.diabetes.org/site/TR/TourdeCure/TourAdmin?px=5700274&pg=personal&fr_id=10220

Please to all who'd like to support me, let's pay it forward & support the American Diabetes Association. GO RED RIDERS!

Thanks,
Heath

Critical Thinking.

I've had some gains over the past couple of weeks, achieving my fastest 10K to date, of 43:36. My fastest race time ever was over 47 minutes, so I've found some fire in my shoes in the shorter runs.

I ran 16.64 miles the week before last, got a bit sick afterwards...so I thought I'd cut that down just a smidge. I ran 14 miles in 113 minutes on Saturday, not my fastest, but alright...not going to qualify for New York with that time, but for an easy long run, not shabby.

I don't know why, but even with these monumental positive gains, I'm extremely self-critical. I am always judging myself, what I eat, how hard I work, etc. In these mindfulness classes that I've attended, we've learned about self-love & loving kindness. The first thing you have to learn is to love yourself. If you cannot do that, you cannot love others. Going through some of these practices, instead of achieving loving myself, I started to panic over the thought of maybe I'm unable to love others? I find it quite emotionally impossible to love myself. Logically, I understand it, but emotionally, its tough. This is something I have to work on daily and rewire my brain.

I've had a couple instances occur, where I'm noticing others being critical of themselves, when they should be proud they are taking steps to improve. I feel empathy for others & want them to be proud of themselves & decisions they've made to improve. The other day I was running on the treadmill at the gym & this larger girl says to me, "I hope I'm as fast as you some day." She continued about how she was a sprinter in high school, but then lost the desire to run. I told her that I used to run middle distance in track, and was horrible at it and not until I was 28 years old did I ever really run further than 3 miles. Every time I see her at the gym I smile & say hello. I want to be encouraging of others, they are making their own monumental gains every day & I don't want them to have this critical, hurtful mind.

Another friend talked to me a week ago about what other people think of her and what she looks like when she goes to the gym and doesn't want people judging her there. I told her that she is THERE working on IMPROVING herself, if anyone judges that, they aren't worth a darn. I said, so you might not know how to do an exercise right away, so what. We all look silly and hey, some of us (not mentioning any names) even have the occasional toot escape while working obliques...Don't let what you think others think about you crush your dreams. Just keep at it, PRACTICE makes PERFECT. Keep on trying! I was telling her about how when I started lifting, a headstand push up was just a ridiculous notion; no way can I do that. And kick my toes up to the bar? 3 sets of 10? No. Way. Guess what, I can do both now. How? Practice. Dedication. Determination.

I want others to feel good about what they achieve and this is something I have struggled with internally for a long while. I do not have to bring a negative thought of "Not qualifying for New York" into the fact that I ran 14 miles in 113 minutes. I can just say, the fact, without the judgement. Recognizing that I'd really be happy if I were to qualify for New York, but in the same breath, being pleased with my accomplishments & gains here & now.